Friday, November 16, 2012

1 month post partum

Becoming a mom for the first time makes you go through a whirlwind of emotions. Luckily I have a hubby whom I have amazing communication with, well... who after a few times of asking me what's wrong finally gets it out of me because I realize he isn't a mind reader lol. Sometimes I get tunnel vision with all things baby and forget to think about myself... I mean the first couple of weeks I even forgot to eat sometimes! Or I get so consumed with over thinking that I don't realize how quiet I can get and not know how to express how I'm feeling to my hubby, someone who I know is there for me no matter what. I can be so absent minded sometimes that I'm glad he actually communicates with me and tells me when he notices things are off. I finally had my breakdown and found words to tell him what new things I'm going through as I'm finding this new part of myself as a mom. And I guess I just really want to be the best I can be for both Justin and Julian. They are all that matter , and I know I have so much more to learn, so I'm extremely glad I have such an amazing man that is there for me through these times that can get so overwhelming sometimes. I can breathe a sigh of relief and know that everything will be ok because I am in a relationship with my best friend who I can tell anything and everything to. Ok so the last day of being pregnant I was 128 lbs, and now I'm down to 106 lbs, woo woo! All my life it was always hard for me to gain any weight, and my late teen years up until I got pregnant, I was stuck at 93-95 lbs, NEVER going lower or higher than that. I mean how frustrating is that?! I've always been underweight. I was so happy that I was finally gaining weight when I was pregnant. And now I am finally at my dream weight 1 month post partum, lets hope this sticks people!!!! I have always been a smidge insecure about my body, but I then embraced my small boobs and small body, and I felt really happy with my pregnancy body too. And thankfully I had an amazing hubby, who never went a day without letting me know how beautiful he thought I was. I know that may sound vain, but when you have a big belly that makes you uncomfy and the skin on your face isn't clear, you need to hear that sometimes and know that it's genuine and they really mean it. And even now when my body is still trying to adjust to no longer being pregnant, he's still amazing. All throughout my pregnancy I had zero stretch marks, I put vitamin E oil on my belly and boobs every day... Well I guess it helped a little bit because once my belly started going down only a couple of stretch marks appeared by my belly button. So for now I just need to tone my belly. Ok as far as clothes go, pre pregnancy in bottoms I was a 00 or a 0, a 24 or 25, so pp I could fit my pants on my legs, just not at my hips. Whoa guys, I finally have hips, my boobs finally came in, and my thighs FINALLY touch (that had been a goal of mine since forever lol), I finally kind of have a womanly body!! And it only took having a baby!! Hahahaha, ok so now pp I am now a size 2 or 3, 25 or 26 in bottoms... I can live with that! As far as tops go, luckily pre pregnancy I started off with negative A sized boobies, so my boobs are pretty normal sized to the average woman, but to me they're big and I'm not a fan, I would like to go back to at least regular A cup, which after I'm done breast feeding, I know I will be back to that... If not less lol. Back to tops, I like my tops loose so I'm the same size, depending on what kind of top I'll either get a small or medium. So after 1 month pp I'm slowly but surely adjusting, and I am so very thankful for the life that I have, and our little family that has just started. I appreciate Justin more and more each day, and I am amazed by our perfect little boy :-). So I'll end this post with some pictures to compare my belly from the day I went into labor, to today.

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