Saturday, April 5, 2014

Sourpatch Kids

No I'm not talking about the candy... I'm talking about toddlers, well my toddler at least lol. Sour patch kids are the perfect description of how Juelz's  attitude can be sometimes. Sour then sweet. I may yell and say not to do something a million times... 9 times out of 10... Julian will still do it, but the hug and kiss sorry after always makes up for it lol. There can be a tantrum, and then 5 mins later... Sunshine and rainbows! Yup... Total sour patch kid. 

Some days I feel like I was better at being a mom when he was still a baby baby because things were I guess... "easier"?... Does that make any sense? Now I have a toddler who's becoming his own person, and developing his personality and independence (I mean don't get me wrong, it's totally amazing watching him grow and really get to know himself and learn new things). So now not only does he need me, but he doesn't need me at the same time lol. It's definitely more of a challenge, but it really is a rewarding challenge because they're only small for so long. 

The only hard thing is, now that Juelz is older I feel like I'm under more pressure to have to do everything right because I might somehow ruin him. You know, since now he's like a sponge and is learning from everything. Of course some days will be better than others, and I've learned to just take it day by day, and to always appreciate everything no matter what happens. J also reminds me that Juelz  is resilient and not to worry so much, but I don't know if the worry of if I'm doing enough, have enough, or doing too much will ever go away? Probably not lol, but all I can do is my best. 

In no way is this post meant to come off as complaining, because I'm not complaining. All I want is to let other mommies know that there will always be a mom that just gets IT, gets YOU, and what your going through, because they're either going through it now or have gone through it. To me, being a mom is the best thing ever... it's also a REAL job. As a mom it always feels good when you know another mom is going through the same thing... Kind of sounds bad but doesn't at the same time. What I mean is that it always makes it easier to have another mom to relate to, another mom who gets you without any judgment passed. 

Toddlerhood may be hard, but it sure is amazing. Sometimes I want to cry at how Juelz  amazes me every day. Now I've never been one to have patience... I mean... What's patience? And my first reaction to a lot of things is yelling. But I will take everything day by day and never stop trying to be the best mom to Juelz . I'm always so scared he may end up like me or how I was growing up... A brat. But I can't let fear influence my parenting, and I just have to keep reminding myself that we are going through toddlerhood together, and he's going through it right along side me, he's learning just like I am. 

I have to remind myself that this stage in life is going to fly by just like everything else has. I'm going to embrace the good days, the hard days... And the sour, the sweet.


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